About the author January Nelson is a writer, editor, dreamer, and occasional exotic dancer and naughtg collective pen. Hey, you just cured my erectile dysfunction.
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Are you a doctor? Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore — my face should be among. How long has it been since your last checkup? Because I'm pursuing you online from my couch. While others are still wondering why the door is closed in the first place. Do you like to draw?
These questions will take the initiative away from another person and give the initiative to you. Girl are you an iceberg?
My right hand is tired. Oh you are? Are you related to Dracula? So, what are the chances wana my balls slappin' your ass tonight? Hey, is that a keg in your pants? Get our newsletter every Friday!
If i was a ballon, would you blow me. Then, you can start building the sexual tension again. Do you have pet insurance?
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Take the symptom quiz. Eyes are the most expressive part of our body, and still many underestimate the value of eye contact in flirting. I don't mind a little ketchup on the hot dog as long as the bun is tight. My dick just died.
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Do you go to church often? Someone vacuum my lap, I think this girl needs a clean place to sit.
Shall we see how well our genes mix? Do you need something to practice on?
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Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie. Get the best of Thought Catalog in your inbox.
Because you have my privates standing at attention. I tried my best to not feel anything for you.
Would you rather?
I would tell you a joke about my penis Do you need something to practice on? If you were an elevator, what button would I have to push to get you to go down?
My dick just died, can I bury it in your vagina? You know, the sexy kind.
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It is just like a French kiss, but down under. Sorry, but I need directions.
I may not go down in history, but I'll go down on you. So, you can use it yourself after the pick-up line to inspire dirty thoughts.
I can fill your interior; I see something big and pink. I'd like to BUY you a drink Do these symptoms appear near your inner thighs, armpits, chest, groin, or buttocks?
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Want to fix that? I think my allergies are acting up. Because I thought it was going to be only you and me!